My Confessions (Part. 4)

And lo, finally I have entered the second year of my college life. The experience is bumpy and frightening! Not all things that happened this year was good. I had to go through times of testing and awkwardness. Finally I’m realising the purpose of my life. It’s not an easy feeling; whenever I think about my future i get goosebumps, because I lost all my dreams of becoming an ethical hacker! My so called dad wants me to work after my under graduation, while on the other side I crave to study for post graduation! My life seems pointless, since I don’t have great expectations any more. My dreams are shattered, my life is more like a mirror all the actions of my past is resulting in the present! Now, I have learnt not live with expectations since nothing really happens the way we want, all happens exactly the opposite way, maybe luck is my enemy! My thoughts ponder during the night, I lost the only thing that provide me peace, its my sleep. I lost the peacefulness of sleep. I crave every night for a peaceful night but my nights seems to be a struggle for survival. In the nights I’m like a convict sitting in the darkness of a jail room! I feel strangled by my own dear life! But i learnt not to hate myself, for I’m the only thing that’s true and happening, hating oneself only brings about more disaster. Even tough my life is a series of earthquakes, I live each moment with courage and simple a thought that everything will turn out to be better one day!

All hell broke loose, the second semester of my 1st year started with a major disaster. I have to say I met with an unexpected accident on my new scooter. My scooter just rolled out of the showroom, just on the second week the scooter kissed the road of coimbatore. Apparently, when me and my friend were riding, a mindless ass wipe ran past us and there goes my scooter; my friend suffered three stitches, i just escaped with minor injuries on my head and my left shoulder. I didn’t attend my 1st Internals. I got no complaints or blame to put on, since the mistake was on the rider who ran past us! Getting back to the friend who suffered stitches, I kinda lost him. An argument between us turned into another major disaster. I never talked to him again. All this happened because of my stupid mouth! I lost a good friend! Apologies were rejected, I had nothing to do but just to walk away form him; My bad! The accident left both of us with a great impact on us! But in this year many good events did happen to me, I won 1st prize in English poetry and anchored a quiz show in college! I felt happy proud because I’m not much of speaker on the stage, surely my fellow friend Arvind helped realise that even I could speak in public. I thank him with all my heart for bringing out this hidden talent in me!

Now that was all about me! I have to tell things about other people around me too! This year I met someone special who is the only reason I’m happy now, I owe all my life to her; My bacha! 😀

My seniors they are like sugar coated doughnuts, but that’s how they treat all of us. I got ragged once but I love all my outgoing seniors, they are unique and different from all the other seniors I had before! I wish good luck to all of them! I will miss you all. My birthday went good as planned, had a good small party at KFC, thanks for the wishes everyone! Coming back to my studies, I find it kinda difficult to cope up with them 😦 . I just lost my ambition and dreams, I don’t even know why I have to study, it seems pointless!

Time went by very soon, as I complete my 1st crucial year I learnt a lot of things. Some made me think deeply some things hurt still deep inside! The fact that I survived an year seems overwhelming! I’m looking forward for a better year this time! My life is just a day of travel, I have to attend college and come back home everyday like a routine! Nothing is interesting but the fact that I got a bunch of kick-ass friends keeps me fuelled, talking about fuel my scooter drinks fuel like a thirsty man lost in the desert with a barrel of water, all it does is drink fuel like crazy and a burn a hole in my pocket! Electricity is coimbatore is frustrating, it comes and disappears like a mad ghost in the darkness! And yeah I have to mention about the perfect weekend I had with Aravind and his family, I spent the 1st day in kovalam beach played dumbcharades till the end of the night and the second day his uncle and his dad took me to the most fabulous place I had evern been to, The Residency hotel, i had the perfect dinner of ly life; Thanks to you all, I love you all! The last day in trivandrum i was taken to a hotel my Arvind’s dad and I had this weird dish named ”SIZZLER”, damn it, it really does sizzle! And last but not the least i owe the whole weekend to Meera chechi who lend me her DSLR, it was the 1st time ever I used one, it’s such an amazing machine, I now know how this thing really works thanks a lot chechi! I clicked many pics and i was appreciated by many; So, I and praveen started this photography page like everyone else! In the end I realised that pravi is a better photographer than me(I feel jealous on you bij :P).
i wrote abt my weekend in tvm

I seek for inspiration and keep my fingers crossed, and expect for a peaceful 2nd year(I don’t want any apocalypse to happen :p). I always belive that things happen for a reason, so the next shit happens, keep cool and think of your life, think of how much you hav lived and think how much you still have left and what’s more to happen! Life is like a suspense game, play well to unlock its secrets, if u play it with cowardness and hate you end up with more shit! Choose your path and live with the best attitude and patience you can keep up! I still have three more years left in this city! May God bless me with never-ending patience, Amen!

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