My Confessions (Part. 5)

At the start of my 3rd semester I was pretty confused with the choices I had ahead of me (Career-wise and other terms). I spent hours alone in a peaceful place and thought deeply on what I had to do after my graduation and what was the purpose of my life! Something struck me hard when a friend of mine suggested me to read about Osho’s theory and his books. Well at first I was a skeptic and still I do think deeply about his words. And then one day booom; I watched a movie named ‘Into the Wild’. It was a journey of a young lad, who threw away all his wealth and college degrees and sought to spent the rest of the life in the wild, just like how people lived in prehistoric ages. The story had a deep impact on me, especially after the realization that the story was true! I gave it a long and  deep thought, ‘SOCIETY’, what is the modern society really doing , and what do they really want? I never found answers for these questions. From that day, I looked upon the people with high authority such as the politicians and the cops with high doubt in my mind and kept cursing them for the imbalance in the economy! There were so many issues this world is facing and the greatest of all An Inconvenient truth i.e global warming, animal extinction, poverty etc… Life had changed a lot since then, I always wanted answers for questions and I always believed in the facts rather than the opinions! Soon, I realized that I’m turning into a free thinking man. I turned into an atheist!


With a new mindset I continued my horrific journey through the corridors of Sri Krishna College. Again something caught my attention. The college administration is just like our stupid government, it does what- ever it wants no matter even  if its right or wrong; none stood up to question them! I was angered by how my esteemed college was functioning, none understood what I had to convey, So I dropped the idea of changing people’s minds to stand up against our so called SKASC! Classes went by, time went by, everything seemed all good when suddenly PLACEMENTS! This word struck me harder than any other word in the English language! The practice of on- campus Placements are common is institutions based in my city, but my college was rather distinct in this area, they somehow managed to grab a total of 1093 placement orders for over 606 students! At first everyone thought this was good! But I didn’t I wanted answers, how did this happen? Why only our college? Why do Infosys and Wipro recruit so many lads from my college? After many sleepless days I got some answers. Placements in my college is extraordinary, the reason for this is because, well I don’t want to tell this in public, If anyone is interested to know the answer just send a private message to my inbox in facebook or gmail, I’m always ready with the answer!


And now something about myself; I met loads of promising people this semester and lost equal numbers! Its been a rough ride this semester too. As, each minute goes by the tension and fear increased! Well you might think what I’m tensed of? You guessed it right my future and my esteemed career! Dropping these thoughts the next thing that comes in to my mind is a life-partner , well green pastures in this field is rarely found, I kept trying but eventually I couldn’t find enough water to irrigate my wastelands! The next thought that comes up in my mind is the amount of sleep I get a day, well people say I need minimum of 8 hours of sleep. Mostly I go to bed by 12, rarely fall asleep, even if I fall asleep I will surely wake up moaning from a bad nightmare. Once I had a nightmare where on my friend was chasing a train and then he suddenly disappears and the next thing I know is a train hitting me, well that was a dream but in reality I hit my face on the hard concrete floor just below my bed! From that day I had to keep re-enforcements around my bed, mostly re-enforcement using high raised pillows laid down all around me to stop me from breaking my jaws (Last time I hit my head and somehow my tooth was spared). Then comes the quota of friends, Well I got a hell lot of them. My friends are the only people who keep me alive with shots of laughter and tales to listen and tell! Then comes my gruesome passion, PHOTOGRAPHY , talking about photography, I don’t even own a camera. Most of the time I see a good scene that I could have probably clicked I curse myself for not having a cam! Just a week before I completed this version of MY CONFESSIONS I had the craziest days in Trivandrum with my close friend and his family! Details of the good times I had cannot be disclosed since it might pop out your eves our of your socket! I had trouble composing an ending note for this piece of writing. I found no other better way than a quote I would like to share with you all :-

‘’If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, the possibility of life is destroyed.’’

-Leo Tolstoy


(P.s: The above quote might not be meaningful to many of you out there, try reading it many times over and over again until you go crazy over the real meaning of it. If you do go crazy inbox me or contact me immediately for I will explain you properly the real meaning of the above quoted sentence)

Thanks all.