My Confessions (Part 7)

Sometimes, when I look back at these three years I had to go through, I feel like after all everything wasn’t that bad. Look at me now, I’m a survivor, A survivor of a senseless college education I was made to go through, I survived idiots and morons, I survived insanity and mass mental mutilation, I survived three years of mental torture. I’m proud to let you know that, I survived this crisis called Education!

The semester started off without any notable events, being charred by my boring routine life screamed for a change. I watched my fellow human beings cry, smile and speak proudly of their achievements, and all I did was watch as they dressed up in formals (some looked pathetic), some do not even know the meaning of formal dressing. I watched as they sat in masses to be pronounced worthy by some worthless humans who judged the masses by their character and body language. I watched as some failed to impress the unforgiving judges, they broke down in tears as if they lost their kidneys! Oh Humans, is this what, you come down to? Immoral judgment and fear of being rejected by some stupid HR who labels that you are worthless? My, Oh, My, Sympathy just overflows from my heart for you lads.

Ok, now something about me….As I was talking about change and inspiration, here I go. Watching my fellow humans being going through all this, I decided myself that I shall not work under some MNC owned by some rich, obese Indian! I shall live and not suffer! So I ignored all the placement madness around me, I ignored all my professors and friends who asked me ‘’Hey how many placements orders did you get?’’ and I go like ‘’NONE’’, and then I watched as they flick their eyes in wonder. I told them my interests where different and that I rather sit at home and rot. Everybody seems skeptical, they think I’m too smart or over-confident. Guess what? ‘I do not care what you think, this is me, like it or not, I don’t give a rat’s ASS!’ I have a dream. I wish I could work and have a career in something but at the same time not be enslaved under someone. The only possible thing I could do was choosing to study journalism as my Masters. I hunted the internet for months searching for colleges. Finally I lost my sleep in all havoc and panic. It has been like 3 months I have had any sound sleep, at the end of the day by evening I look like a zombie! I do not know what is gonna happen to me after my era in the prestigious Sri Krishna College! I do not know if I could make it to any college that offers a journalism degree, I do not know anything about my future. For now all I know is, no one can control me, I’m a grown man and I liked to be treated with respect and love and would love to return respect and love. Working in an MNC is never an option for me, if it happens then it shall only be silly nightmare!

There were days when people used to be fun to be with, now all of them seem un-interesting. I started developing some kind of fear, I hate people, I hate to be in a place where there are a lot of people. I think I got Anthrophobia (best defined as the fear of people in crowded situations). I hate going to weddings, I hate having lunch in the college’s new canteen, I rather stick around in the old one because it’s got lesser people as everyone flocks to the newer better canteen. My head just starts exploding with discomfort and anger when there are a lot of people around me. I’m not kidding most of the time I get so paranoid that time seems to slow down around me and I can hear my own heart- beat.

By the end of the semester I had my finger nails crushed between a window, that left me in pain for weeks(I’m not complaining, it really did pain a lot 😛 ). I’m really not sure on how to end this note. Ok, let me put it this way. I have one life to live for, and whatever I do I only wish it does good to me and others around me, there are a couple of people who I really care for, to them, ‘If I let you down or hurt you in any manner, I’m extremely sorry. Give me another chance to fix things’. Barely within two months, my college life in Coimbatore is coming to an end; I have never felt so confused and happy at the same time. Confused because I’m unsure of my future and happy because I realize that finally I’m leaving this dreadful place. No Offense guys, But I hate this place. As per Mr. Charles Darwin’s theory of ‘Natural Selection and Survival of the Fittest’, I guess I’m doing good with my life on planet earth, All I wish is that ‘Fellow humans, may Mother nature spare you and may you not get chased down by your Predator’ In layman’s terms ‘Don’t complain later that your life is meaningless because you listened to your parents, your professors, your principal, your friends and NOT YOURSLEF’! Boooya Good Day!